Y’all, we need to talk about Barb Wire.

1996’s sexy comic noir caught my curiosity while tuning into Hulu’s miniseries Pam + Tommy. 

If you don’t already know, Pam + Tommy centers around sex icon + actress Pamela Anderson + her relationship with Motley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee, their marriage, their invasion of privacy with the release of their stolen sex tape + what occurred during and after the events.

Gen Z babies, I know sex tapes are today’s norm, but Pam + Tommy’s honeymoon video was one of the first and it came with a LOT of drama + even more trauma. 

Around the time of the scandal, Pamela Anderson was set to star in Barb Wire, a comic book movie made by Dark Horse, a company famous for characters + movies like The Mask starring Jim Carrey, Hellboy, and Sin City. It’s notably famous for being one of the worst movies ever made and after Pam + Tommy showed me another side of Pam, I needed a second opinion: Mine. Besides, I was like 3 when it was released, so why the hell not?

The movie’s set in a fictional 2017 during the Second American Civil War, when the democracy was taken over by martial law, leaving only one free city named Steel Harbor. In Steel Harbor, is a nightclub run by a sexy bounty hunter/ mercenary known as Barbara “Barb Wire” Kopetski, who uses her sexuality + kickass fighting skills to get the job done. When her freedom fighter ex-lover returns married to an on-the-run scientist connected to the fascists who‘ve taken over, Barb finds herself in the middle of some shit.

And y’all….I wanna know who was reviewing this movie back then. 

Unpopular opinion: Barb Wire did NOT deserve the hate it got. 

Don’t get me wrong, is it campy and corny at times? Hell yeah, but…so was every 90’s movie back then, especially action movies with comic book origins. If you’ve seen other Dark Horse movies, especially ones from the 90’s like The Mask, you know what I mean.

A comic book action movie starring Pamela Anderson is no different. And it doesn’t make the movie any less fun. For a TV actress starring in her first film, I didn’t think she did that bad. If anything, the directing choices are why the movie sucked, not her acting. The script was an action-comic noir ripoff of Casablanca, which was probably a corny back then in the 90’s too (classic or not), and there’s a weird lil’ scene where a woman being electrocuted sounds like she’s moaning instead of screaming in pain.

It was like they watched the movie through a Playboy lens and expected all nipples, no story or vice versa. 

Speaking on the critiques now, BJ Colangelo of Slash Film, said, “There was no winning for "Barb Wire." The film was either too sexy to take seriously, or not sexy enough to appease the horny male gaze. "Barb Wire" is the blueprint for future cinematic misunderstandings centered on "It Girl" sex symbols that would lead to situations like the notoriously unfairly maligned "Jennifer's Body." Pam Anderson is doing exactly what she's supposed to in "Barb Wire," and it's not her fault that a majority of critics were incapable of watching the film without immediately thinking of her stolen sex tape, which had been circulated EVERYWHERE by the time of the film's release.

Like Jennifer’s Body (which I honestly had to rewatch cause I hated it ten years ago), it seems to me that Barb Wire’s biggest problem is that the movie is marketed to men instead of women.

The film’s failure at the box office fell on it’s star and her sexuality, with reviews from critics like USA Today’s Mike Clark, who said, “The movie is predominantly a sexual tease, albeit one without appreciably more nudity than you can see in 1968's Barbarella”or Cinematter’s Madeline Williams, who commented, “The whole film is nothing more than just a tease, not worth the bother.”

My point exactly. Did critics wish to see HER or the infamous tape? 

And while she did do other small roles in future films like Scary Movie 3, Pam’s movie career was unnecessarily left to die after Barb Wire when she was only acting the way she was directed and wearing BDSM-like costumes they deemed appropriate for her character. It really wasn’t her fault that she’s good looking and that the film was edited to include every possible shot + angle of her body. It was everybody’s fault BUT hers, yet she’s the one who co-won a Razzie Award for Worst Actress. 

Since when does showing your body suddenly brand you as a terrible actress?

The fact that the movie bombed around the time of the stolen tape doubled down the misogynistic degradation + pretty much slut shamed Pamela out of film before she could even start. Which is fuckin’ sad. 

But as a woman in 2022, I hella enjoyed this film, corny lines and all. 

The beginning scene has Barb dancing topless at a bar as she’s soaked with champagne (or water? Idk, she’s wet) but immediately kills a man who heckles her by stabbing him between the eyes with her STILETTO. I don’t think that’s ever happened in an action flick even in this time and that is some straight badassery. It’s comparable to a scene choice like Harley Quinn handing Black Canary a hair tie during a fight in Cathy Yan’s Birds of Prey. This film was literally one of the OGs of all sexy female-led action movies today but does not get the credit it deserves. It’s a 90’s cyberpunk-goth child dressed in leather, boots, military wear, a bad script, + a soundtrack filled with electric guitar solos. 

Her catchphrase is “Don’t call me Babe,” the comeback of ALL tough girl comebacks in film; it also came with a fire feminist theme song from Riot Grrrl pop band Shampoo. 

Plus, she gets to beat up gangsters + blow up fascists. 

In a time where female badasses are finally coming back to the forefront, but still far few compared to men, I honor women like Pam who had to take the heat while still being unapologetically themselves; sexy, smart and strong. 

Will you absolutely LOVE this movie? Nah, but unless you’re looking for the next masterpiece, you won’t hate it either. For what it was, Barb Wire is a good time for those who love to see tough women do what they do best: kick some ass + look good doin’ it.